You’re welcome! I was thinking about whether I should donate, and then I remembered something important: what kind of world would this be if someone as incredible of a friend as me didn’t support you? It just wouldn’t be right. I know you probably wake up every morning and take a moment to appreciate how unbelievably fortunate you are to have me in your life. I mean, friendships like this don’t happen every day. Some people spend their entire lives searching for a loyal, generous, funny, caring, supportive, intelligent, humble (obviously), dependable, and all-around elite friend like me, and somehow you managed to find one. That’s honestly impressive on your part. I’ve always tried to set the gold standard for friendship. Through the good times, the funny times, the random conversations, and everything in between, I’ve consistently shown what true friendship looks like. It’s not easy carrying the responsibility of being this great of a friend, but somehow I manage to do it every single day. So when I saw your fundraiser, there really wasn’t much of a decision to make. Of course I was going to donate. Supporting my friends is just part of who I am. It’s one of the many qualities that separates me from the average person. Some people donate because they feel obligated. I donate because I’m simply that great of a friend. I hope one day they write books about friendships like ours. Historians will look back and wonder how someone could have been blessed with a friend as remarkable as me. Future generations will study this friendship in school. Scientists will try to understand the odds of someone having a friend this loyal. Mathematicians will conclude that the probability is approximately one in a billion. Whenever you’re having a bad day, just remember that you know me. Instantly, life gets a little better. That’s a gift that can’t be measured in dollars. The donation is nice, but let’s be honest—the real donation I’ve made is years of premium-quality friendship, endless entertainment, legendary conversations, and unforgettable memories. I don’t expect a statue or a national holiday in my honor… but I also wouldn’t complain. If you ever decide to name your first child after me, I would understand. If you want to frame this message and hang it on your wall as a reminder of how lucky you are, I completely support that decision.